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Cool WAVs, Movie WAVs

The user name is: guest and the password this week is: fun to protect bandwave theft.
If you found direct linking please let me know.

Remember, sounds play smoother after they fully load.
To Play, click on a link. To save, right click on the link and choose Save Target As.

You can select these as custom sounds for all your computer functions.
(I use all the HAL 9000 voices and C3Po)
Save them in any folder and you can go to Start Button/Settings/Control Panel/Sounds. You chose which sound you want for each control program event. You can also browse to sound wav's in other folders for a sound. There is a button that plays the sound in preview. Save your sound scheme.

Brad Pitt's mind trip in "12 Monkeys". 12 monkeys theory -

2001: A Space Odyssey
HAL (Douglas Rain): The 9000-series is the most reliable computer ever made. No 9000-computer has ever made a mistake or distorted information. We are all, by any practical definitions of the words, foolproof and incapable of error.

HAL (Douglas Rain): Good evening, Dave.
HAL (Douglas Rain): I enjoy working with people.

HAL (Douglas Rain): That's a completely reliable figure.

HAL (Douglas Rain): I'm sorry for the delay.
HAL (Douglas Rain): I've just picked up a fault in the A-E-35 unit.
HAL (Douglas Rain): It's puzzling. I don't think I have ever seen anything quite like this before.
HAL (Douglas Rain): This sort of thing has cropped up before, and it has always been due to human error.

HAL (Douglas Rain): Sorry about this. I know it's a bit silly.
HAL (Douglas Rain): I can see you're really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill and think things over.
HAL (Douglas Rain): I'm sorry Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that.
HAL (Douglas Rain): This conversation can serve no purpose any more. Goodbye.

HAL (Douglas Rain): I know that you and Frank were planning to disconnect me and I'm afraid that's something I cannot allow to happen.

HAL (Douglas Rain): I feel better now. I really do.

HAL (Douglas Rain): I am a HAL 9000 computer.

HAL (Douglas Rain): My mind is going.

Apocalypse Now
Capt. Benjamin L. Willard/Narrator (Martin Sheen): They were gonna make me and I wasn't even in their fucking army any more.
Capt.Benjamin L. Willard/Narrator (Martin Sheen): 'Never get out of the boat', absolutely goddamn right. unless you were going all the way.

Absolute Power
Clint Eastwood: "You made a mistake, that was entirely unacceptable."

Airplane! (Flying High)
Hays: Nielsen: "Surely you can't be serious?" "I am serious and don't call me Shirely."

Airline Spoof - very funny.

Apollo 13
Gene Kranz (Ed Harris): Failure is not an option.
As Good As It Gets
Helen Hunt: Do you understand me? You crazy fuck!
Melvin (Jack Nicholson): Sell crazy someplace else, we're all stocked up here.
Melvin (Jack Nicholson): What if this is as good as it gets?

Austin Powers
(Mike Myers): You've got mail baby, yeah!
Dr.Evil (Mike Myers): I'm the head of an evil organization, I don't share, ok? You frickin' idiot.
Dr. Evil (Mike Myers): You've got frickin' mail.

Austin Powers 1-2 (1997/99)
Dr. Evil (Mike Myers): Throw me a freakin' bone here.
Dr. Evil (Mike Myers): You know, I have one simple request and that is to have sharks with freakin' laser beams attached to their heads!
Seth Green: It's no hassle.
Dr. Evil (Mike Myers): Shh! Seth Green: But. . Dr. Evil (Mike Myers): Shh! Seth Green: Um. . Dr. Evil (Mike Myers): Shh! Seth Green: All I'm sayin. . Dr. Evil (Mike Myers): Shh! Seth Green: They're gonna get awa. . Dr. Evil (Mike Myers): Shh! Seth Green: I. . Dr. Evil (Mike Myers): Shh! Seth Green: I'm just. . Dr. Evil (Mike Myers): Shh! Seth Green: We. . Dr. Evil (Mike Myers): Shh! Seth Green: Would. . Dr. Evil (Mike Myers): Shh! Knock knock. Seth Green: Whose there? Dr. Evil (Mike Myers): Shh! Seth Green: Look. . Dr. Evil (Mike Myers): Shh! Let me tell you a little story about a man named Shh! Shh! even before you start. That was a pre-emptive shh! Just know I have a whole bag of shhh! with your name on it
Dr. Evil (Mike Myers): W w w dot shh! dot com dot org.

Babylon 5
Bruce Boxleightner: You just committed a fatal error. There is nothing we can do for you.

The Joker/Jack Napier (Jack Nicholson): This town needs an enema!

The Joker/Jack Napier (Jack Nicholson): Tell me something, my friend. Ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?

Biloxi Blues
Sergeant Toomey (Christopher Walken): You would need three promotions to get to asshole.

Bug's Life,
A Hopper (Kevin Spacey) - Are you saying I'm stupid? "No. " "Do I look stupid, to you?'

Bugs Bunny What's dis? A Letter, for me! - (make this your mail notification sound in Settings/Control panel/Sound.)

Cape Fear
Claude Kersek, Private Investigator (Joe Don Baker): I don't wanna see ya, I don't wanna hear ya and I don't wanna smell ya. Now leave.

Chase, Chevy National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
Clark Griswald: Cheap, lying, no good, rotten, for flushing, low life, snake lickin, dirt eating, imbread, over stuffed, ignorant, blood sucking, dog kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fatass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spineless, worm-headed sack of monkey shit!

Con Air
Steve Busemi: "Define irony - bunch of idiots dancing on a plane to a song made famous by a band that died in an airplane."

Cool Hand Luke
Captain, Road Prison 36 (Strother Martin): "What we've got here is failure to communicate."

Cowboys, The
John Wayne: You look like the vermin-ridden son-of-a-bitch you are.

"Mm, this is damn good. Say, this is the best beer I've ever had."

Die Hard 2
John McClane (Bruce Willis): Hey Carmine, let me ask you something. What sets off the metal detectors first? The lead in your ass or the shit in your brains?

Dirty Harry
Harry Callahan (Clint Eastwood): You could ask your self a question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya? Punk!

Dirty Harry
(Clint Eastwood): "Go ahead, make my day."

Dirty Harry
(Clint Eastwood): "Well, opinions are like assholes - everybody has one."

Earthworm Jim: What do you mean invalid parameters!? 9000 gigs of RAM and it can't even answer a error.?

Steve Buscemi: I'm not gonna debate you Jerry. William H. Macy: Okay.
Steve Buscemi: I'm not gonna sit here and debate.
Steve Buscemi: No, first thing you've said in the last four hours. That's a.. that's a fountain of conversation, man. That's a geyser, I mean wow daddy, stand back man.
Steve Buscemi: Oh fuck it, I don't have to talk either man. See how you like it... Just total fucking silence. Two can play at that game, smartguy. We'll just see how you like it - Total silence.

Ferris Bueller's Day Off
Ferris Bueller: You're still here? It's over, go home.

Full Metal Jacket "You're so ugly you could be a modern-art-masterpiece!"

Full Metal Jacket
Unknown: It's a huge shit-sandwich and we're all gonna have to take a bite.

Juan Sanchez Villa-Lobos Ramirez (Sean Connery): You have the manners of a goat, and you smell like a dung heap, and you've no knowledge whatsoever of your potential.

Horse Feathers Professor Wagstaff (Groucho Marx): You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy and I bet he was glad to get rid of it.

In the Line of Fire
(Clint Eastwood): "You have a rendezvoue with my ass, mother fucker!"

Long Kiss Goodnight, The
Mitch Henessey (Sam L. Jackson): "Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah! Don't give me attitude, sir."
Mitch Henessey (Sam L. Jackson): See, you're assuming I won't shoot your sorry ass, and everyone knows when you make an assumption, you make an ass outta you, and umption.
Mitch Henessey (Sam L. Jackson): "I'm always frank and ernest with women. In New York I'm Frank, in Chicago I'm Ernest. Hehehe."

Man on the Moon
Andy Kaufman (Jim Carrey): Here I come to save the daaaay!
Andy Kaufman (as Tony Clifton) (Jim Carrey): I need this place like I need shotgun blast to the face!

Men in Black
Tommy Lee Jones: I am just a figment of your imagination. *memory erasing sound*

Midnight Run
Jack Walsh (Robert De Niro): If you don't co-operate you're gonna suffer from fistophobia.

Monsters, Inc. Randall Boggs (Steve Buscmi): Shhh! Do you hear that? It's the winds of change.
Monthy Python - Graham Chapman: Your type really makes me puke! You vacuous coffee-nosed pervert.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Eric Idle: *sound of an arrow hitting* Message for you, sir.

Negotiator, The
Danny Roman (Sam L. Jackson): Never say no to a hostage-taker, it's in the manual.
Danny Roman (Sam L. Jackson): Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah! Don't give me attitude, sir.

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
Randle Patrick McMurphy (Jack Nicholson): Get out of my way, son. You're using my oxygen, you know what I mean?
Randle Patrick McMurphy (Jack Nicholson): But I tried, didn't I goddamnit, at least I did that.

Pulp Fiction
Sam L. Jackson: Hamburgers! The cornerstone of any nutritious breakfast.
Sam L. Jackson: Mmm! This is a tasty burger.
Sam L. Jackson: Big Kahuna burger!
Sam L. Jackson: Please, continue. What's the matter? Oh, you were finished? Well, allow me to retort.
Ving Rhames: This shit is between me, you and Mr.Soon - to - be - living - the - rest - of - his - short - ass - life - in - agonizing - pain, rapist here.
Ving Rhames: I'm gonna get medieval on your ass.
Ving Rhames: You hear me talkin' hillbilly boy?! I ain't through with you by damn sight. I'm gonna get medieval on your ass.
Christopher Walken: The way your dad looked at it, this watch was your birthright. He'd be damned if any slopes was gonna put their greasy, yellow hands on his boys birthright, so he hid, it in the one place he knew he could hide something, his ass.

Raging Bull
Joe Pesci: It's a sick questions, you're a sick fuck and I'm not that sick that I'm gonna answer it... I'm not telling you anything.

Reservoir Dogs
Steve Buscemi: "Alright, now you're using your fuckin' head."
"Joe, trust me on this. You've made a mistake."

Bart: Hi man.
Homer: Doh!
Homer: Hello!
Homer: No time for that now, the computer's starting.
Homer: Can I go now?
Homer: Ooh, it didn't work!
Homer: To start press any key. Where's the Any key?
Homer: Welcome to the Internet, my friend. How can I help you?

John Doe (Kevin Spacey): Tell me, what was the indisputable evidence, you were going to use on me, right before I walked up to you and put my hands in the air!

Starship Troopers
female comp-voice: Your transmission has been terminated.

Star Wars
3-CPO: Hello sir, I am C3PO - Human-cyber-relations.
3-CPO: Don't get technical with me.
3-CPO: Please don't deactivate me.
3-CPO: What a desolate place this is.
3-CPO: All systems have been alerted to your presence, sir.

Taxi Driver
Travis Blickle (Robert De Niro): You talking to me? You talking to me? You talking to me? Then who the hell else are you talking to? You talking to me? Well, I'm the only one here.

The Terminator
T800 (Arnold Schwarzenegger): I'll be back.
The Rock
John Patrick Mason (Sean Connery): Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen.
John Patrick Mason (Sean Connery): Personally, I think you're a fucking idiot.

The Untouchables "Don't wait for it to happen, don't even want it to happen - just watch what does happen.

Total Recall
Arnold Schwarzenegger: I feel like I was meant for something more than this. I want to do something with my life. I want to be somebody.

True Romance
Drexl Spivey (Gary Oldman): Grab a seat, boy. Grab yourself an egg roll. We got everything here from a diddle-eyed-Joe to a damned-if-I-know.
Vincenzo Coccotti (Christopher Walken): I'm the Anti-Christ. You get me in a vendetta kind of mood, you'll tell the angels in heaven that you had never seen evil so singularly personified as you did in the face of the man who killed you.

Wag the Dog
Conrad Brean (Robert De Niro): Can we go now, please, people. A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow.

Wayne's World
Mike Myers: Denied!

Whole Nine Yards
Jimmie Tulips Professional Hitman (Bruce Willis) accident. It was an accident, right? You tripped, you slipped on the floor and accidently stuck your dick in my wife.

Wizard of Oz
Dorothy (Judy Garland): Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore.
Margaret Hamilton (The Wicked Witch): I'm melting!

You've Got Mail
Tom Hanks: You've got mail.

Magic Mike's Favorite 150 songs.

"City Of New Orleans (Good Morning America)." Arlo Guthrie -
Freight Train Blues - Roy Acuff
Good fiddle work. I'm Movin' On - Hank Snow
Wabash Cannonbal - Hank Snow
Blue Moon - Marcels
Sweet Home Alabama - Lynerd Skinnard
A Little Bit Of Soap - The Jarmels.
Baby I'm Yours - Barbara Lewis.
Good Old Rock & Roll - Cat Mother and the All Night News Boys.
Groovin' - The Rascals.
My Guy - Mary Wells.
Walk On By - Dione Warwick.
Since I don't have You - The Skyliners.
When a Man Loves a Woman - Percy Sledge.
Rock and Roll is Here to Stay - Danny and the Juniors.
Tossing and Turning - Bobby Lewis.
Since I fell for You - Lenny Welch.
Dancing In The Street - Martha Reeves and the Vandellas.
Angel Baby - Rosie & the Originals.
As Time Goes By.
Tears In Heaven - Eric Clapton.
House-cleaning-blues - Betty Boop.
How-Do-You-Do Boop-Oop-A-Doop - Betty Boop.
Mad As Hell - from Network.
Mr. Pig.
Sorry. - John Cleese from A Fish Named Wanda.
Tonight, I celebrate my love.
No Ordinary Love .
Tennessee Waltz.
Ain't No Mountain High Enough - Marvin Gaye.
You Made Me So Very Happy .
All You Need Is Love - Beatles
Moon Dance - Van Morrison
The First Time Ever - Roberta Flack.
I love you. You complete me .
This conversation serves no purpose, goodbye, .
Bolero - Ravel.
Burn - Elvis Presley.
Marie - Elvis Presley.
Unchained Melody - Righteous Brothers.
Killing me softly with his song - Roberta Flack.
Don't Worry Be Happy.
Suspicion - Elvis Presley.

Al Green - Ain't No Sunshine When She's Gone".
Allman Brothers Band - "Jessica."
Bachman Turner Overdrive - "Taking Care Of Business."
Beatles - "A Day In The Life."
Blind Faith - "Do what you like."
Bob Dylan - "A Hard Rain's A-Gonna Fall."
Bob Dylan - "All Along the Watchtower."
Bob Dylan - "Everybody Must Get Stoned."
Bob Dylan - "Stuck Inside Of Mobile With Memphis Blues Again."
Bob Dylan- "Positively 4th street."
Bob Dylan - "Talkin New York".
Bob Seeger - "Old Time Rock and Roll."
Creedance Clearwater - "Suzie Q."
Carol King - "Feel The Earth Move".
Cream - "Sunshine Of Your Love".
Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young - "Judy Blue Eyes".
Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young - "Woodstock".
Dave Bromberg - "Sharon".
Dave Brubeck Quartet - "Blue Rhonda A La Turk".
Dave Brubeck Quartet - "Take Five."
Dave Mason - "Can't Stop Worrying, Can't Stop Loving."
Dave Mason - "Feelin' Alright."
Dave Mason - "Look At You, Look At Me."
Dave Mason - "Only You Know And I Know."
Dave Mason - "Shouldn't Have Took More Than You Gave."
Dave Mason - "World In Changes."
Deep Purple - "Highway Star."
Dr. John - "Right Place, Wrong Time".
Deep Purple - "Smoke On The Water."
Duke Ellington - "Satin Doll."
Duke Ellington - "Take the A Train."
Elvis Presley - "Blue Moon Of Kentucky."
Elvis Presley - "Suspicion."
Eric Burden & The Animals- "Monterey."
Fleetwood mac - "Future Games ."
Fleetwood Mac - "Morning Rain."
Fleetwood Mac - "Woman of a Thousand Years."
Frank Sinatra - "As Time Goes By."
George Gershwin - "Rhapsody in Blue."
George Thorogood - "Hot Rod Lincoln".
Glenn Miller - "Moonlight serenade."
Golden Earring - "Radar Love."
Grateful Dead - "Scarlet Begonias."
Grateful Dead - "US Blues."
Greg Allman - "Midnight Rider."
Hank Snow - "Movin' On".
Huey Lewis - "I Want A New Drug."
Huey Lewis and the News - "Heart of Rock n' Roll."
It's A Beautiful Day - "White Bird."
Jimmy Cliffe - "Many Rivers To Cross."
Jimmy Cliffe - "The Harder They Come."
Jimmy Durante - "Young At Heart."
John Mayall - "California"
Joni Mitchell - "Big Yellow Taxi."
Joni Mitchell - "Free Man In Paris".
Joni Mitchell - "Twisted."
Joni Mitchell - "Court And Spark".
Johnny Mathis - "Chances Are".
Kinks - "Lola".
Led Zepplin - "Dazed And Confused."
Led Zepplin - "Whole Lotta Love."
Led Zepplin - "Ramble On."
Led Zepplin - "You Shook Me."
Little Feat - "Old Folks' Boogie."
Little Feat - "O Atlanta".
Little Feat - "Spanish Moon."
Little Feat - "Triple Face Boogie."
Otos Redding - "Dock Of The Bay".
Otis Redding - "When A Man Loves A Woman".
Marty Robbins - "El Paso".
Marty Robbins - "Streets Of Laredo".
Neil Young - "Southern Man".
Men At Work - "Who Can It Be Now".
Patsy Kline - "Craszy".
Peter gabriel - "In Your Eyes".
Paul Simon - "Lincoln Duncan."
Pink Floyd - "Meddle (complete album)."
Quicksilver Messenger Service - "Mona."
Rolling Stones - "Can't You Hear Me Rod Knocking." "Midnight Rambler"
Rod Stewart - "Every Picture tells A Story".
Rolling Stones - "Midnight Rambler."
Roy Acuff - Freight Train Blues".
Savoy Brown - "Louisiana Blues."
Savoy Brown – “Street Corner Talkin’.”
SeaTrain - "I'm Willin."
SeaTrain - "Orange Blossom Special."
Spencer Davis Group - "I'm A Man".
Steely Dan - "Any Major Dude Will Tell You."
Steely Dan - "Bodhissattva."
Steely Dan - "Don't Take Me Alive."
Steely Dan - "FM."
Steely Dan - "Hey 19."
Steely Dan - "Rikki Don't Lose That Number".
Stray Cats - "Stray Cat Strut".
Sugarloaf - "Green Eyed Lady."
Talking Heads - "Burning Down The House".
Talking Heads - "Take Me To The River."
Tom Petty  - "Learning To Fly."
Traffic - "The Low Spark of High-Healed Boys."
Traveling Wilburys - "End of the Line."
U-2 - "I still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For".
Van Morrison - "And It Stoned Me."
Van Morrison - "Dancing In The Moonlight."Van Morrison - "Into the Mystic." Van Morrison - "Moondance."
Van Morrison - "Wild Night."
Ventures - "Ghost Riders In The Sky."
Viscounts - "Harlem Nocturne."
Woody Herman - "Blues in the Night."
Young Rascals - "Groovin".
Youngbloods - "Darkness Darkness."
Zombies - "She's Not There".
Zombies - "Time Of The Season".
ZZ Top - "Waitin' For The Bus/Jesus Just Left From Chicago".

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Magic Stuff.
Children Magician
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Business Magician
Tradeshow Magic
Learn Tie Trick
See Magic Tricks
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How to Accomplish Impossible In Sales
Newspaper trick.
Magicians Lessons.
Balloon Lessons.
Market Yourself
Magic Show Photos
E-mail Magic Mike
Leave A Tip
Send A Show Deposit

Home Page
Mind Stuff.
Inspirational Art,
and Great Quotes
ESP Finding Stuff.
ESP Lightning Strike
Butterfly On Finger
ESP Find Dalai Lama
ESP Volcano missed
ESP Predict Quakes
Reincarnated Boy
Tharlam Monastery
Read Literature.
Read The Bible
Read Wisdom Sutra
Read Tao Te Ching
Ancient game of Go.
Fun Stuff.
Wallpaper photos:
Fine Art, Landscape, Animals
Award Short Movies
Award Animations
Magic Joke Parlor.
Cartoon Of Day
Funny Photos
Bumper Stickers.
Movie Previews.
Movie Reviews.
Aquarium Cam.
Time-Lapse Photos.
Harry Potter Gifts.
Cool stuff to hear.
WDFM Penn State radio comedy 1969
Birth of FM Radio
Info Stuff.
Thousands Of Great Recipes
Food & Drink - new daily
Useful Links
Travel, Embassies.
Medical News - new daily
Cancer News
- new daily
Natural Science - new daily
Science News. - new daily
Space News - new daily
TV News networks
World News Wires

Global Dimming!!
First Amendment Rights
for Street Performers

Website Magic

Learn magic.
Amazing Magic Mike teaches his incredible "One Handed, One Second Windsor Trick."

Penn State Nittany Lion
The Adventures
of Super Stater
WDFM Penn State radio comedy cliffhanger from 1969.

Sales Training Videos
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Magic Mike the Magician
Seattle, Lynnwood, Everett, Bellevue, Redmond, Issaquah, Kent

No portion of this site may be used, displayed, or linked to without written authorization.
All Rights Reserved Copyright 1996 - 2013
by Magic Mike Berger, Seattle except as noted.