user name is: guest and
the password this week is: fun to protect bandwave theft.
If you found direct linking please
let me know.
Remember, sounds play smoother after they fully load.
To Play, click on a link. To save, right click on the link and choose Save Target As.
You can select these as custom sounds for all your computer functions.
(I use all the HAL 9000 voices and C3Po)
Save them in any folder and you can go to Start Button/Settings/Control Panel/Sounds. You chose which sound you want for each control program event. You can also browse to sound wav's in other folders for a sound. There is a button that plays the sound in preview. Save your sound scheme.
Brad Pitt's mind trip in "12 Monkeys". 12 monkeys theory -
2001: A Space Odyssey
HAL (Douglas Rain): The 9000-series is the most reliable computer ever made. No 9000-computer has ever made a mistake or distorted information. We are all, by any practical definitions of the words, foolproof and incapable of error.
HAL (Douglas Rain): Good evening, Dave.
HAL (Douglas Rain): I enjoy working with people.
HAL (Douglas Rain): That's a completely reliable figure.
HAL (Douglas Rain): I'm sorry for the delay.
HAL (Douglas Rain): I've just picked up a fault in the A-E-35 unit.
HAL (Douglas Rain): It's puzzling. I don't think I have ever seen anything quite like this before.
HAL (Douglas Rain): This sort of thing has cropped up before, and it has always been due to human error.
HAL (Douglas Rain): Sorry about this. I know it's a bit silly.
HAL (Douglas Rain): I can see you're really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill and think things over.
HAL (Douglas Rain): I'm sorry Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that.
HAL (Douglas Rain): This conversation can serve no purpose any more. Goodbye.
HAL (Douglas Rain): I know that you and Frank were planning to disconnect me and I'm afraid that's something I cannot allow to happen.
HAL (Douglas Rain): I feel better now. I really do.
HAL (Douglas Rain): I am a HAL 9000 computer.
HAL (Douglas Rain): My mind is going.
Capt. Benjamin L. Willard/Narrator (Martin Sheen): They were gonna make me and I wasn't even in their fucking army any more.
Capt.Benjamin L. Willard/Narrator (Martin Sheen): 'Never get out of the boat', absolutely goddamn right. unless you were going all the way.
Clint Eastwood: "You made a mistake, that was entirely unacceptable."
Airplane! (Flying High)
Hays: Nielsen: "Surely you can't be serious?" "I am serious and don't call me Shirely."
Airline Spoof - very funny.
Gene Kranz (Ed Harris): Failure is not an option.
As Good As It Gets
Helen Hunt: Do you understand me? You crazy fuck!
Melvin (Jack Nicholson): Sell crazy someplace else, we're all stocked up here.
Melvin (Jack Nicholson): What if this is as good as it gets?
(Mike Myers): You've got mail baby, yeah!
Dr.Evil (Mike Myers): I'm the head of an evil organization, I don't share, ok? You frickin' idiot.
Dr. Evil (Mike Myers): You've got frickin' mail.
Austin Powers 1-2 (1997/99)
Dr. Evil (Mike Myers): Throw me a freakin' bone here.
Dr. Evil (Mike Myers): You know, I have one simple request and that is to have sharks with freakin' laser beams attached to their heads!
Seth Green: It's no hassle.
Dr. Evil (Mike Myers): Shh! Seth Green: But. . Dr. Evil (Mike Myers): Shh! Seth Green: Um. . Dr. Evil (Mike Myers): Shh! Seth Green: All I'm sayin. . Dr. Evil (Mike Myers): Shh! Seth Green: They're gonna get awa. . Dr. Evil (Mike Myers): Shh! Seth Green: I. . Dr. Evil (Mike Myers): Shh! Seth Green: I'm just. . Dr. Evil (Mike Myers): Shh! Seth Green: We. . Dr. Evil (Mike Myers): Shh! Seth Green: Would. . Dr. Evil (Mike Myers): Shh! Knock knock. Seth Green: Whose there? Dr. Evil (Mike Myers): Shh! Seth Green: Look. . Dr. Evil (Mike Myers): Shh! Let me tell you a little story about a man named Shh! Shh! even before you start. That was a pre-emptive shh! Just know I have a whole bag of shhh! with your name on it.
Dr. Evil (Mike Myers): W w w dot shh! dot com dot org.
Bruce Boxleightner: You just committed a fatal error. There is nothing we can do for you.
The Joker/Jack Napier (Jack Nicholson): This town needs an enema!
The Joker/Jack Napier (Jack Nicholson): Tell me something, my friend. Ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?
Sergeant Toomey (Christopher Walken): You would need three promotions to get to asshole.
A Hopper (Kevin Spacey) - Are you saying I'm stupid? "No. " "Do I look stupid, to you?'
Bugs Bunny What's dis? A Letter, for me! - (make this your mail notification sound in Settings/Control panel/Sound.)
Claude Kersek, Private Investigator (Joe Don Baker): I don't wanna see ya, I don't wanna hear ya and I don't wanna smell ya. Now leave.
Chase, Chevy National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
Clark Griswald: Cheap, lying, no good, rotten, for flushing, low life, snake lickin, dirt eating, imbread, over stuffed, ignorant, blood sucking, dog kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fatass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spineless, worm-headed sack of monkey shit!
Steve Busemi: "Define irony - bunch of idiots dancing on a plane to a song made famous by a band that died in an airplane."
Cool Hand Luke
Captain, Road Prison 36 (Strother Martin): "What we've got here is failure to communicate."
John Wayne: You look like the vermin-ridden son-of-a-bitch you are.
"Mm, this is damn good. Say, this is the best beer I've ever had."
Die Hard 2
John McClane (Bruce Willis): Hey Carmine, let me ask you something. What sets off the metal detectors first? The lead in your ass or the shit in your brains?
Harry Callahan (Clint Eastwood): You could ask your self a question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya? Punk!
(Clint Eastwood): "Go ahead, make my day."
(Clint Eastwood): "Well, opinions are like assholes - everybody has one."
Earthworm Jim: What do you mean invalid parameters!? 9000 gigs of RAM and it can't even answer a error.?
Steve Buscemi: I'm not gonna debate you Jerry. William H. Macy: Okay.
Steve Buscemi: I'm not gonna sit here and debate.
Steve Buscemi: No, first thing you've said in the last four hours. That's a.. that's a fountain of conversation, man. That's a geyser, I mean wow daddy, stand back man.
Steve Buscemi: Oh fuck it, I don't have to talk either man. See how you like it... Just total fucking silence. Two can play at that game, smartguy. We'll just see how you like it - Total silence.
Ferris Bueller's Day Off
Ferris Bueller: You're still here? It's over, go home.
Full Metal Jacket "You're so ugly you could be a modern-art-masterpiece!"
Full Metal Jacket
Unknown: It's a huge shit-sandwich and we're all gonna have to take a bite.
Juan Sanchez Villa-Lobos Ramirez (Sean Connery): You have the manners of a goat, and you smell like a dung heap, and you've no knowledge whatsoever of your potential.
Horse Feathers Professor Wagstaff (Groucho Marx): You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy and I bet he was glad to get rid of it.
In the Line of Fire
(Clint Eastwood): "You have a rendezvoue with my ass, mother fucker!"
Long Kiss Goodnight, The
Mitch Henessey (Sam L. Jackson): "Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah! Don't give me attitude, sir."
Mitch Henessey (Sam L. Jackson): See, you're assuming I won't shoot your sorry ass, and everyone knows when you make an assumption, you make an ass outta you, and umption.
Mitch Henessey (Sam L. Jackson): "I'm always frank and ernest with women. In New York I'm Frank, in Chicago I'm Ernest. Hehehe."
Man on the Moon
Andy Kaufman (Jim Carrey): Here I come to save the daaaay!
Andy Kaufman (as Tony Clifton) (Jim Carrey): I need this place like I need shotgun blast to the face!
Men in Black
Tommy Lee Jones: I am just a figment of your imagination. *memory erasing sound*
Jack Walsh (Robert De Niro): If you don't co-operate you're gonna suffer from fistophobia.
Monsters, Inc. Randall Boggs (Steve Buscmi): Shhh! Do you hear that? It's the winds of change.
Monthy Python - Graham Chapman: Your type really makes me puke! You vacuous coffee-nosed pervert.
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Eric Idle: *sound of an arrow hitting* Message for you, sir.
Danny Roman (Sam L. Jackson): Never say no to a hostage-taker, it's in the manual.
Danny Roman (Sam L. Jackson): Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah! Don't give me attitude, sir.
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
Randle Patrick McMurphy (Jack Nicholson): Get out of my way, son. You're using my oxygen, you know what I mean?
Randle Patrick McMurphy (Jack Nicholson): But I tried, didn't I goddamnit, at least I did that.
Sam L. Jackson: Hamburgers! The cornerstone of any nutritious breakfast.
Sam L. Jackson: Mmm! This is a tasty burger.
Sam L. Jackson: Big Kahuna burger!
Sam L. Jackson: Please, continue. What's the matter? Oh, you were finished? Well, allow me to retort.
Ving Rhames: This shit is between me, you and Mr.Soon - to - be - living - the - rest - of - his - short - ass - life - in - agonizing - pain, rapist here.
Ving Rhames: I'm gonna get medieval on your ass.
Ving Rhames: You hear me talkin' hillbilly boy?! I ain't through with you by damn sight. I'm gonna get medieval on your ass.
Christopher Walken: The way your dad looked at it, this watch was your birthright. He'd be damned if any slopes was gonna put their greasy, yellow hands on his boys birthright, so he hid, it in the one place he knew he could hide something, his ass.
Joe Pesci: It's a sick questions, you're a sick fuck and I'm not that sick that I'm gonna answer it... I'm not telling you anything.
Steve Buscemi: "Alright, now you're using your fuckin' head."
"Joe, trust me on this. You've made a mistake."
Bart: Hi man.
Homer: No time for that now, the computer's starting.
Homer: Can I go now?
Homer: Ooh, it didn't work!
Homer: To start press any key. Where's the Any key?
Homer: Welcome to the Internet, my friend. How can I help you?
John Doe (Kevin Spacey): Tell me, what was the indisputable evidence, you were going to use on me, right before I walked up to you and put my hands in the air!
female comp-voice: Your transmission has been terminated.
3-CPO: Hello sir, I am C3PO - Human-cyber-relations.
3-CPO: Don't get technical with me.
3-CPO: Please don't deactivate me.
3-CPO: What a desolate place this is.
3-CPO: All systems have been alerted to your presence, sir.
Travis Blickle (Robert De Niro): You talking to me? You talking to me? You talking to me? Then who the hell else are you talking to? You talking to me? Well, I'm the only one here.
T800 (Arnold Schwarzenegger): I'll be back.
John Patrick Mason (Sean Connery): Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen.
John Patrick Mason (Sean Connery): Personally, I think you're a fucking idiot.
The Untouchables "Don't wait for it to happen, don't even want it to happen - just watch what does happen.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: I feel like I was meant for something more than this. I want to do something with my life. I want to be somebody.
Drexl Spivey (Gary Oldman): Grab a seat, boy. Grab yourself an egg roll. We got everything here from a diddle-eyed-Joe to a damned-if-I-know.
Vincenzo Coccotti (Christopher Walken): I'm the Anti-Christ. You get me in a vendetta kind of mood, you'll tell the angels in heaven that you had never seen evil so singularly personified as you did in the face of the man who killed you.
Wag the Dog
Conrad Brean (Robert De Niro): Can we go now, please, people. A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow.
Mike Myers: Denied!
Whole Nine Yards
Jimmie Tulips Professional Hitman (Bruce Willis) accident. It was an accident, right? You tripped, you slipped on the floor and accidently stuck your dick in my wife.
Wizard of Oz
Dorothy (Judy Garland): Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore.
Margaret Hamilton (The Wicked Witch): I'm melting!
You've Got Mail
Tom Hanks: You've got mail.